Friday, November 26, 2010

Forgotten Forgiveness

I am not sure why I am feeling so. But at the moment I do not know if I can, ever, trust a group. Individuals still I may, but groups I am not sure.
Something happened today. Something that I had not seen ever before. There was this guy who was the leader of a team. Now he had certain powers and certain responsibilities. The powers were given to him by his brothers and he was responsible also towards his brothers. All the brothers worked hard for getting fruits at the end of the day. One of the leader's responsibilities was to help the brothers get better fruits.
For 6 months this leader continued to fulfill his responsibilities. Some brothers has problems along the way but they preferred to remain quiet. Then on one fine day, this leader made a mistake. He called one brother and gave him a task. This task would enable the brother to have a bigger fruit than others.
The other brothers were very angry. They asked him why he had done so. The leader replied that he wanted to give everyone a task that will help them get bigger fruits. But then tasks were hard to come by and they would need to wait. If enough tasks did not come up, he promised to distribute whatever tasks were there, equally amongst all.
But the brothers did not believe him. They felt that again he will give the tasks to his favorite brother. So they called him. He came with his favorite brothers but they sent them away. And then they questioned left and right. There were those also who did not need the task, but they also pitched in. Everybody wanted a share of the applause that accompanied every abuse hurled at the leader. The leader tried his best to tell them that he was not wrong at heart, pleaded guilty, but the applause and the abuse did not stop. They abused till the end - the thrill of it was just too overpowering.

The verdict came, and the leader was removed. Purpose served - the merriment began.

but then, what about being brothers. That was just lost somewhere. Somewhere deep down everybody just murdered the brother inside them before walking on to murder the brother in front. Nobody though of forgiving - of giving the leader a chance to go back and correct himself. Nobody thought that they would just lose a brother - after all, everybody knew that brothers no more stay long. One day, you would also be murdered by another brother.

I was also a brother. I felt safe when I would be with my other brothers. I would feel happy and protected. But what do I do now. I didn't knew brother also Kill. I didn't knew that my mistakes would never be forgiven. I didn't knew that I would always have to be right always. I didn't knew that forgiveness has long been forgotten.

Its very cold - I am freezing. But I won't ask you for a blanket brother. Maybe its not correct.


  1. i am sure i know the case in point...and i see the strong opinions expressed..and i am glad people do express what they feel without caring too much about any backlash..coz if one feels something somewhere went wrong..its not wrong to let people know about it

  2. nice post...agree with few of your thoughts strongly....

  3. if only peopleforgave more... couldn't agree more with you priyank... very well written

  4. its a great post, to let out your actual thoughts ... about the loss of brotherhood and the value of forgiveness ... wouldn't it also require that the brother is ready to accept the mistake and agree he had wronged?

  5. Very nice is important to forgive..The most important thing is to step in the other person's shoes and then honestly think if a second chance was deserved...

  6. very well written priyank...
    I second your thoughts..

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  8. A very emotional read...feeling mixed emotions. Probably as a frnd & if i may say a brother..i feel the same as u. But on a professional level, life is not just only about personal feelings. With every position of responsibility comes a huge set of expectations from your peers,superiors & subordinates. And, unfortunately if there is a breach there(even if its unintentional)the trust is just lost for ever.
    Its sad...but not everything in this world can be decided on emotional & personal feelings.

  9. @silent assasin - Thank you for your approval. And yes my aim was just to express what i felt.
    @nischal - nothing beats the appreciation of a close friend. Thanks.
    @ishita - People would. They just need to see themselves at the other side of things.

  10. @themarketer - indeed. brave is one who can accept and apologize for his mistakes.
    @avantika - Thank you :)
    @vsk - Thanks man ..
    @ashu - Your comment is a crux of the matter. There is always a mix of feeling - that is what i always felt - and probably that is what should be. But my post came just because I felt that in this case there was no such mix. It was only anguish that was flowing. I respect the verdict of the people as a professional, but am saddened by their conduct as friends.

  11. It is very surprising that such noble thoughts only come up once the matter reached yesterday's stage. And why such great thoughts only on our side? Why did the "Big Brother" never think of such humility before? Your question could also have been posed to him.

    Jurm karne ke baad maasum banna bada aasan hai.

    And as Ashu said, it was very much on professional grounds. And on professional grounds, the brother in question was found wanting.

  12. I wonder at the sheer self-righteousness of the rest. In the age of individual invigilations of friends in Delhi, mockery of faculty interviews for committee selections, and Sonia Sharma's slap in the face, someone got screwed for almost zilch. But hey, isn't this the good old politically correct world?

    That being said, I believe that some mistakes happened which shouldn't have. It was probably a case of "taking for granted" rather than huge words used like "abuse of power" and "nepotism".

    But was the ground enough for such a strong punitive action? But again, there is no midway here. A precedent has to be set for sure.

    It was by no way a case of incompetency but sheer irresponsibility. Egos were (un)intentionally hurt that resulted in old scores being settled.

    It was hugely surprising to me how he went about it yesternight. "Two separate wings with absoultely no interference between the two: academics and admin". It wasn't even an open secret. Everyone present in the hall knew it wasn't a black box. And the rest three hours were wasted on everyone hell bent on repudiating the same and his covering up a little thing that didn't really matter in the long run.

    The same questions again and again, and obviously, the same answer. The same sarcastic applause, the same humiliation. Kick someone when he's down and call yourself a man.

    A good old battle of egos. Probably the only line that made sense to me was the last one: "My intent was always right. My methods might have not." Wish he started with the same.

  13. He could have said all he wanted - the critical thing was trust.

    How many trusted that the intent was right?

    And without trust my friend, that position becomes untenable. It is not to say that the rest of us are perfect, we never will be.

    But does that take away our right to question? Does that stop us from our right to demand trust and responsibility? And with great power, does come great responsibility. Whether we like it, or we don't.

    And if we hold (aspire/claim) ourselves to the very best of standards in everything else, then rest assured, we shall be measured by the same yardstick when it comes to responsibility as well.

  14. @MangoMan:
    Quoting a common friend of ours who dared to refuse an offer made to him by the impeached:"Cstrl lega? Chod tujhe Nstle deta huun."

    The intent was contrite, methods equally questionable.

  15. kuch toh hua pinku....goli maaro sabko...khao piyo aish karo:):):)

  16. At the root of being human being lies the natural fact that we are social animals. But what remains unsaid is that the social nature lasts only so long as the group benefits from it. Within the group it is every man on his own. Even in the wilderness when herds are attacked by the predators every animal is running to save its own life. The weaker ones are weeded out no one comes to their help.

    But these groups are the groups which have no leader. When it comes to groups with leaders the natural order of things is that the strongest shall lead/dominate. And only when the strongest is on the helm shall the group flourish. If nature had its way a weakling would never lead. Again on this count Humans defy nature and at times a weakling rises to power only to be thrashed back to ground.

    Trust is not the primary reason for a successful leader to be able to lead. It is respect that he gains out of his strength his ability to dominate others. And yet when he chooses not to use his strength to dominate and exploit the weaker does he gain trust. That is what a true sucessful leader is.

    A brother, an equal can never take the place of a leader as long he considers himself a brother or an equal. People do not want to be lead by some one who is only as good as they are. For every brother is equally capable of questioning another brother.

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